Mourning jokes

At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.

I put the fun in funeral.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing...

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

Mum?

Mum?

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?

The corpse.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

What's the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Why are orphans' funerals so small?

They have no loved ones.

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.