Mother's jokes

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.

"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

"It's pasture bed time."

When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

Which sex position produces the ugliest children?

Go ask your mother.

Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.

What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.