Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother. Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pie tasted weird today. Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie WITH human flesh from C town.
You're so ugly that when you were born your mother asked "how does my little treasure look", and the doctor replied, I think we should bury it immediately.
Ya Sister is ya Mother
Ya Father is ya Brother
U all shag one another
The Inbred family
LITTLE JOHHNY WALKS INTO LIVING ROOM AND ASKING HIS PARENTS MOM DAD WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSSBREED A BULLDOG AND SHITZU. THE MOTHER AND FATHER SHRUGS AND SAYS WE HAV NO IDEA JOHNNY WHAT DO U GET AND LITTLE JOHHNY REPLIES YOU GET A BULLSHIT
One day, a girl was showering with her mom, she pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)". The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied:" In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Mother, father and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie. During dinner time: Father: Son what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: okay! okay! I watched porn dad. Dad: what? you watched porn? you are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 yrs of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said "sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
hehe
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her? She left the plunger in the toilet she put door knobs on all the walls and she rearranged the furniture
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?" Her mother smiled and replied: Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day. The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy tool the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so hight that we fucked without a condom!
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was ur mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”
I know ur name is baller cause imma put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLER
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge would you follow Me: leads a marching parade of the golden gate bridge
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner. His mother says, “I don’t like your friends”. Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
A man marries a blonde chick, live a happy life together and the man asks his wife if she wants kids she says "yes". So, a couple years go by, they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question"
