Mortality jokes

You are so ugly my man died.

Suicide is population control, republished.

Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?

He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

Why is rape worse than death?

Because dead people get way more attention.

Cops be like dead from COVID hahaha. Should have listened to the law, you dumb dead pigs!

What’s the best part of stage four cancer?

A: There’s no stage five.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."

Why are dead baby jokes always funny?

They never get old.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.