I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
What starts with M and ends with arriage?
Miscarriage. Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
-->[]life death[]<--
My dad drove past a graveyard he said “I won’t be buried there.” I asked why. He said “Because I am not dead yet”
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
