One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
God.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
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