Mom's jokes

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

Ur mom.

Oops my bad! 😬

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

Your mom's a whore, and so are you!

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.