Mom's jokes

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

My mom calls me.

Me: WHAT MOM?

No answer.

Me: WHAT?

My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Ur mom is emo.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.