Mom's jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Answer: Your mom.

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"

He waited for three hours to get an answer.

His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

I love my mom.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.