Mom's jokes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
Your mom is so fat, she starts the alphabet with the letter "o" for obesity, hahaha!
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
My mom calls me.
Me: WHAT MOM?
No answer.
Me: WHAT?
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.