Miscellaneous jokes
Dick.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
A single sentence walks into a bar.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.