Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?
Want to hear a maze joke?
Never mind, too corny.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?
Alps clear the mind! Haha.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
