Milk

Milk Jokes

Dad

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

Female

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Santa

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

Hairline

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

Racist

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

Girlfriend

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Dad

I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.

Cookie

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

Cow

How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.

Store

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Orphan

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Dad

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

Dad

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Orphan

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

Vegan

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.