You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!!!!!!
What's black and red and goes 90 miles an hour? A baby in a blender!
What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 dodge neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer. It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lawballs.
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3 day mile stone of sobriety!
