Mess Jokes

A cock really has a sad life, he’s hairs a mess his neighbors an areshole his best friend is a cunt.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy and his owner beats him.

Your hairline so messed up that even martin Luther king Jr. couldn't have a dream about it

Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

what is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me

one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch

Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes.

Do you know why you never mess with an orphan??

Because they’ve got GAURDIANS

I mess up goats for unicorns? Jimmy the Unicorn or goat. I don't even know.

Texans: Don't mess with texas

*snows 1 inch*

Texans: Please help us President Biden

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night

Dear Gwen and Prince. Gwen and Prince sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest I really just wanted to be ur friends all both of u! Btw prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who aiden is! Sorry a milion times Zreina.

This Category is messed up. My Mom died in 9/11 at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

id mop the floor with your face but you might just mess it up more

This stuff is messed up you people

I have a brother and he told me this quote no wonder they had a second child they messed up on the first one“ he’s the second child... I’m the first...