Mental Health jokes
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.