New Mental Health Jokes - Page 8

What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?

The apple... the emo just hangs there.

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

Why is emo grass better than normal grass?

Emo grass is gonna cut themself.

I once called a group of emos "the suicide squad."

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.

I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Coff- na, jk, bleach.

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....