I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them! How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb! Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts! What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me! Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels! Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer! I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry
Hi boyyyy
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
How does a mathematician get tan? -- sin/cos.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip. -- It was one-sided.
Who invented fractions? -- Henry the 1/8.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. -- 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!" "No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
