Match jokes

Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.

How are Tinder and orphans alike?

You swipe left till you find the one you like.

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"

I got 39,300,000 matches.

What burns up a football stadium?

A football match.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.

Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Why did they call off the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.