Marijuana jokes
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.