Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup
And I asked him what he is doing
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if i bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits
Me: Erm................Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. Your gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Do you wanna eat make up cause ur not pretty in the inside
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
Girlfriend:I just lost 5 pounds! Me:How many makeup wipes did you need?
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
1st graders: ay yo girl I think you’re beautiful let’s get married!! 2nd graders: uhh don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee. 3rd graders: uh my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up sweetie. 4th graders: hey I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind....... 5th graders(they start wearing makeup): ay girl your eyelashes are pretty I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr. 6th graders: heyyyyy I gotta tell you a secret I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh I’ll text you later! 7th graders: we need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy alright bye now 8th graders: hi sweetheart I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
September 2020: Three makeup tutorialists, James Charles, Jeffree Star and Tati Westbrook has gone through smoke after the controversy surrounding the three of them. Honestly, Tati and Jeffree are trash, I just don't find their content interesting, and I don't watch James Charles, but I also dislike his content.
Ok heres ur funi jokeee
Who is the best makeup artist?
Just because Jeffree has Star at the end doesn't mean he is best
