Lot jokes
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?
Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........
Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
Why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL.
Fart a lot.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had a lot of chill flows.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Gwen just wanted to let you know you suck like a lot, you are a loser. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬😬😬😏😏😏😏