Loss jokes
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What does the orphan have in common with Batman? They both lost their parents.
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.