Loss jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither can see their parents.
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!