What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
My name is what orphans can never have.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
I see you.
Money is power, and power is sex. Sex is ex, and ex is virgin.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
