Loss jokes
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?
The dad did not come home with the milk.
Why do orphans hate dodgeball?
No one misses them.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know home base.
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't go home.
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......