Loss jokes
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
Orphans go to church to call someone father.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.