Loss

Loss Jokes

Boat

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans be a space ship? Because they don’t have a mothership!

Orphan

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

It’s because they can’t find home plate.

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Orphan

Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?

A: They don’t have a home to run back to.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.

Orphan

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home plate.