Look jokes

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Halal!

Is it meat you're looking for?

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What did the other traffic cone say to the other?

"Look away, I'm changing!"

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

Looks like URL encoding is enabled for special characters inside comments. Good job to whoever developed this website!

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?

Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.