Living jokes

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

What lives on the forest floor?

Forest Gump.

The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

People go to places to see Harry Potter live, but you can just go to the abortion place and see something disappear.

I remember you. You used to be an ash.

I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.

BLM be like black lives matter everyone in this chat :). BLM= Bang Local MLFS.

Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

I know where you live! I saw you before!

Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?

Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?

"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."

Homeless people live on rocks.

Non-homeless people live in rocks.

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

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Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol

Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.

“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.

“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.

Black lives matter.