Little jokes
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."
Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."
Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.