Little Jokes

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

The end.

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Little Johnny died.

I was chopping onions with my brothers so my little sisters cryed onions was a good dog

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?

He heard that little boy's pants were half off.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Mommy, why is my name Brick???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.

Mommy, why is my name Rose???

Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.

Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.

Did you hear Biden went to the ER?

He's having a little trouble with his Putin.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."

The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."