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Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

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  • One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

    Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!

    Harvey 😁: It's funny!

    Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!

    Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?

    Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!

    Harvey😟: That's not true!

    Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!

    Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!

    Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?

    Harvey😁: Good!

    Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!

    Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!

    For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏

    Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

    I'm Alya. I'm a dumb whore who ruins people's fun on this sight made for jokes with categories for orphan jokes, but I like ruining people's fun.

    What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"