Light

Light Jokes

Rally

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

Woman

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Teacher

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

Paki

A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"

The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."

A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."

Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...

Tumor

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

Jew

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

Gay

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Ceiling

Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.

Kardashians

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

Guy

What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"

Epileptic

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

Kamala Harris

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

Friend

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Hotel

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Argument

How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.