I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.
My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
I chucked a lamp and a depressed kid, hoping it would brighten up his day.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
