Light jokes

God's racist. He separated light from dark.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.

How do you turn a baby into a dog?

Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!

How many babies does it take to light up a basement?

I don't know, my basement is still dark.

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?

None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5

4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.

How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?

She opens the car door.

What did one traffic light say to the other?

"Stop looking, I am changing."

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

What's the difference between light and hard?

It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.

God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.