How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
