How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
