Light jokes
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Sun.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.