How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Light Jokes
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
