Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
