Life jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find their parents.

Why did the mailman die?

Because everyone dies.

Why can't an orphan play basketball?

Because no one will be cheering them on.

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

People in plays say that everyone's life is a drama, but mine's a tragedy.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

You gonna poop someday.

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

Dead.

Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?

A knife has a point.

Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?

"Lonely."

What song does an orphan hate?...

"I'm so lonely."

bully: "Your life's a joke."

me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.