Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
There was an orphan once, and someone knocks on his door and said, "Hello, son, come and hug me." But the orphan says, "Excuse me, who are you?" and the guy says, "You don't remember me? I'm your dad." And then the orphan says, "Fine then, if you're really my dad, come inside and let me ask you some questions." And the man says, "OK then, but I am really your dad." Then the orphan asked some questions to the man, and the man gets some of them right, so the orphan believes that the man is his dad. And then the orphan says, "You really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house, and the orphan has a roommate, and the dad and the orphan finally get to the bedroom, and then the dad knocks out the orphan, and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan/son, and the roommate hears weird noises in the orphan's/son's room, and he walks in and sees them having sex, and the roommate records it but then kicks the dad out of the house, and then the roommate shares the video to the orphan's school chat, and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce, and everybody at the orphan's school calls him gay, but he really isn't, but since he was mad and disgusted, he pulled an AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so don't take it seriously.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.
Never give up, 'cause never gonna give you up.
Never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna desert you.
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
guys why r we being racist, why cant we love eachother pls, gimme that dick boy, pls stop fighting, lets love eachother and them big ole dicks pls, gimme that dick, i hate racism
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
So a mom and a dad are having sex, their daughter comes down and says, "mommy mommy, what are you doing?" The mom goes, "Uh, were making a cake, let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow." So the next day they go to the park and two teens are going at it in some bushes and the little girl goes,"mommy mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake, let's go back home." So they go home and the mom tucked her Indo bed and says "tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo and two monkeys are going at it and the girl goes "my mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake let's go back home." And so they go home and the girl goes "mommy, did you and daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says "n-no why?" And the little girl goes "because I licked the icing off the couch."
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
What did the plane say to the twin towers? - Lmao, you twins don't know how to play jenga. here let me show you how (BOOM) ;)
Sorry for this Pick Up Line
Are you a building because i rate you 911 so let me put my plane in a let kids fall out
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
