Leonardo DiCaprio jokes

Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.