What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both easy to lay. Both costly and time consuming to get rid of. .... What did saint peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly ? Wipe that Merc of your face.
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down: TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY".OK!!!
GF: laying down BF: GROANING GF: R U good at aiming and shooting BF: yeah why GF: Shoot that did in there BF: mmmhuugh
Suck my dick when you lay i have to say you are gay
Husband and wife are crossing the street, the husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man: So you see Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street.
Man turns and looks to wife, but she is not there!
Man: Dolly? Dolly!
Man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street
Man: Dolly!
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you Belong. Trashy Pig woman: why Because you smell like fart and your pretty much just a Turd with Lips.
A Chicken walks into a Bar.
He Orders Dr. Pepper
He then lays a good Scrambled Egg.
a friend of mine chews gum lays back to yawn then chokes on the gom then i said god what u choking on dick?
There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said "i farted and the building behind me blew up".
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
How are guys and tile floors alike
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years
whats black blue and red laying in ditch you after you disrespect me
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. the first cannibal says "you start at the bottom I start at the top" so they both chow down. about half an hour later, the second cannibal says "i'm having a ball" then than the the first cannibal says "than you're eating too fast"
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they're EGGstinct!
