A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, hereâs your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! đđ
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I donât have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess Iâll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, Iâm Timmy."
Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!
When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!
Later!
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
why do ducks have feathers? *so you don't see their butt*quack* (crack)
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
whats black and screams stevie wonder answering the iron
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.
"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."
"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.
Grandma pointed to the campfire.