Laugh jokes
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
...
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"
They didn't reply.
I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.