Last Word

Last Word jokes

Mother

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Bucket

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

Word

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

Word

I still remember my grandpa's last words.

"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"

Word

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Bus

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Bomb

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

Word

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

Man

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

History

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

Dark Humor

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Word

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

Word

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

Astronaut

What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?

"What does this button do...?"

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

Train

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"