Last will jokes

"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"

You have Chinged your last Chong.

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Going in a military.

The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

Her last name starts with "A" and ends with "D," and the middle letters are "P-O-O."

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

His left shoulder.

Shout out to johnny4488 for commenting on my last post!

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

Error, error, error.

System shutting down.

What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?

Their kneecaps.

The last time I ever made a joke was just now.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?

The steering wheel.