My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.
my grandpa's last words were before died in vietnam was what fuck did i step on..........
Last time I ate a vegetable I got banned from my sisters group home.
Why is the last part of orphanage age ? Because it doesn't matter your age
[ when a cop meets a pothead on April 20th ]
Officer : Hi, how high are you?
Pothead : No officer, it's how are you
Officer : oh im sorry ive been high since last night
Pothead : cool, i'd like to give you sum weed, happy 420 sir
Officer : omg thx man appreciate that
Ok, i found this off of an internet meme, this isnt original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: ok kid, i dont have much time, but obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Last night I had the strangest dream !
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean ?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"
Parent:Have you seen your sister? Son:No, the last time i seen her when we playing hide n seek.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder
I fuck your mum last night that she was salty
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
what was my great grandpas last words
SHIT MG42!!!
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words
WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
