Kids jokes

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.

An autistic kid.

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"

God, I love working at an orphanage.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!