Joke

Joke jokes

What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?

Brain cells make up their mind.

  • 2

    • I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

    They never got together at all.

    Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

    Girlfriend's ex: Why?

    Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

    What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

    Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

    Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

    Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.

    Spongebob: 9 letters

    Squarepants: 11 letters

    Spongebob did 9/11.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

    A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

    Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

    Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

    Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

    Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

    He came in twice.

    (like if u understand)

    Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

    "Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

    So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"

  • 3

    • Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.

  • 1

    • One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

    His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

    The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

    One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

    One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

    The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

    Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

    When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.