New Job Jokes - Page 18 - Worst Jokes Ever

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!

I blend children to make a good living.

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?

Insurance fraud.

The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"

UGHHHHHHH TODAY WAS TERRIBLE! My wife got hit by a bus!!! And I lost my job as a bus driver!

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.