it's jokes
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
It’s not hard.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅