it's jokes

Backyard

    • While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, β€œNo honey for you for one month!”

    Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. β€œThat’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.

    Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, β€œAre you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”

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    • Language

    • The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.

    β€œI never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”

    β€œFrom my father,” said Johnny.

    β€œWell, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”

    β€œI do,” said Johnny. β€œIt means the car won’t start.”

    Homework

    • Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, β€œTwo plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” β€œJohnny!” shouted his mother. β€œStop swearing!” β€œBut mom!” Little Johnny protested, β€œThat’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”

    The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. β€œNo, no,” said the teacher, terrified. β€œThat’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: β€˜Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”

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    • Face

    • Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, β€œJohnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

    Little Johnny looked up and replied, β€œWell, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

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    • Day

    • One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

    Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

    Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

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    • Gay Man

    • What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

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