Italian jokes

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?

Obi-Wan Cannoli.

British tv: 🖥

Italian tv: 📺

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?

同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

What do you call an Italian dog?

A labra-noodle.

Why did the Italian cross the road?

C'era un uliveto.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.